Scatter
Daring Hunter
/Prisonfight/Imperial of Valence
Posts: 45
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Remorse
Mar 26, 2008 22:48:34 GMT -5
Post by Scatter on Mar 26, 2008 22:48:34 GMT -5
‘Really, I can't help but feel a deep remorse; far too long have I been wrongdoing, relying on unruly sins and horrible deeds. I am - I am far to tumult. I seek to be forgiven, and if I get it, would I really correct the way I stand; or would I stay as I was before? Must I rely on such a conscience that has bound me to my cheating way? I’m impudent, unreliable, and unforgiving. Must I be this way? If I changed, would she think differently of me? It is a question that can unleash consequence and happiness. I shan’t understand myself, for I am but a lowly warrior. I have no right to speak to her; she is far above me. Her name I do not remember, or I do not wish to even say in my thoughts; in fear that it would hurt me; force me to hide even further than I have.
‘How long has it been, since I have loved? Have I forgotten the feeling of it? The brilliant sensation that plagues my innards, the feeling of being loved; I have forgotten it. I have lost everything, and I shall continue that way. My life is shamed; forever bound by shame!’ Ray’s thoughts spun. It was remorse; regret of his wrongdoings. His eyes never left the ground, he was slouching. Weight pressed on his shoulders; he could feel it; sharp edges cutting into his flesh, but when he looked there, nothing was there. The brute felt as if it were an apparition teaching him a lesson; getting him back on track. “My life isn’t as I perceived. I always had been wrong, hadn’t I? Only the gods know, what is to become of me.” He stated in a monotone. It was clear that he had lost appetite; his muscles had dissolved quickly, he was looking more and more exhausted each day, implying that he wasn’t sleeping either.
‘If I carry on as I once had, I’ll only cause more riots, more hate. I – I – I have to fix things, before I wither away; that way, maybe my death will be peaceful, and I shan’t be left out. I don’t want anyone to remember me as I was once, but as I had become.’ Rayton couldn’t have been looking gaunter; he had gone without hunting and eating. No exercise either. He didn’t dread his death; he looked upon it, and decided it was for the best to welcome it. ‘I always knew, my impudence was to be the cause of my undoing; for it only made sense to me it’d happen about this way. If I never get the chance to say sorry to them, then – then’ (for he was stuttering) ‘then – I’ll just have t – t – to remember myself as horrible, and evil. I - I’ll make sure I suffer. F – forever doomed!’
(I have decided to change his personality slightly, more solemn and less tumultuous.)
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Erisa
Fiesty Pup
Posts: 10
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Remorse
Mar 27, 2008 17:29:08 GMT -5
Post by Erisa on Mar 27, 2008 17:29:08 GMT -5
The day grew old, the sun lowering each passing minute. Beneath the suns glow Erisa walked slowly, pearlesant eyes darting around as if she was searching for something. Ebony bitchtress lifts her head, nostrels flaring as she samples the airr, catching sent of someone nearby. Ray. Erisa picks up her speed, headind towards his sent..for she hadn't seen him in quite some time now and was eager to be near him. Finally he comes into sight and she hesitates, gazing upon his form. 'Wow...he looks horrible...I wonder what happened...' the thought only hovered in her mind for a split second before she brings herself to him, stopping just a few inches away from the brute. "Hey Ray...Are you okay?" The tone of her voice showed much concern. They way he looked was dreadful...like he had been starving himself. She lowers her head to gave at him, eyes staring directly into his as she awaits his reply.
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Scatter
Daring Hunter
/Prisonfight/Imperial of Valence
Posts: 45
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Remorse
Mar 27, 2008 17:53:58 GMT -5
Post by Scatter on Mar 27, 2008 17:53:58 GMT -5
Upon seeing his old friend, a weary smile passed over his bruised face. “I’m fine, simply quaint.” He had not done anything to hurt Dee, and so he needn’t say anything to her. ‘No, I’m not fine. I’m shrouded by a mysterious and unruly past that needs to be forgotten before I die! If I do not fix things before I die, I can only say, “d**n me, devil! d**n me to hell!” I’m thinning, I’m dying! Can’t you see that, Dee? Why can’t you see? Am I a lonesome apparition that appears not to exist, at all?’ He let his head fall bowed again, he wouldn’t look up any longer; which implied he didn’t have the strength to do so, anyway.
The beast was worn out; he wasn’t useful, yet not useless. He was not old, he was young. The pack broke him in, because they detested and shunned his tumultuous ways. He looked older, and he was generally older than most wolves; but he shouldn’t have been so close to death; not yet. In his more youthful days, he was a handsome ruffian, always sparring and causing much more dramatic scenes; he was quite the wolf, after all. Minds of others were plagued by the trickster. ‘I wish she would turn her back to me; she can’t see the pain I feel if she turns around.’ “Feel free to leave, Dee. It is far too boring where I am!” He chuckled; monotone was replaced with mirth. “Aside from that, you shouldn’t be hanging around me much; I feel much older than I used to be. God knows it, it’s contagious!” A small smile showed on his face. ‘Please just turn around, D’erisa… What am I saying? Stay here Dee! Keep talking to me! You give me the wings I need to balance my lessened weight!’ His brows furrowed. “But, I’d like it if you stayed with me… hanging for awhile?” He asked, trying to keep a smile, even though his eyes weren’t even directed to her, it was obvious she was being spoken too; he hoped that she knew that.
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Erisa
Fiesty Pup
Posts: 10
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Remorse
Mar 27, 2008 18:02:55 GMT -5
Post by Erisa on Mar 27, 2008 18:02:55 GMT -5
Erisa would only stare at him, eyes tainted with abit of sadness. She knew he was lying. He knew something was wrong..they way he stood...the way his body had become... It was just not..him. She touches her nose to his cheek and gives him a small nuzzle, as a faint smile touched her lips. She was glad that even in the state he was in..he still cound make a joke and laugh..even though it was probably hard for him. "Of course I will stay. Anyone with enough sense can see you need someone here for you." Her voice was abit calmer now as she sits down, tail curling to drape across every paw. She titls her head abit as her eyes linger on him..wanting to ask what has been happening. She could tell he had changed..but was it for the best? they way he looked she could tell now. He needed someone to stay by his side. Help him through the changes he is going through. And that is what she will do. There was no way in hell she would walk away..just turn her back from him. "Where have you been?" Yes..it was a simple question..but she couldn't just sit there in silence...
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Scatter
Daring Hunter
/Prisonfight/Imperial of Valence
Posts: 45
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Remorse
Mar 27, 2008 18:25:13 GMT -5
Post by Scatter on Mar 27, 2008 18:25:13 GMT -5
“As a youth, I feared the very thing, that in the end I became. Now I aim to pick another path – I need some more time, but I can’t move much anymore. No one is around, not anymore. I can’t speak to them, and they don’t want anything to do with me. I never properly thanked Cetan when she saved me, I was angered by her presence; I am a horrible being. I don’t have the right to look at them anymore. I – I want to drown in my misery.” He watched the light play games with the shadow. Flickering, bouncing, and molding themselves into beautiful ripples of heat and color. Light and shadow ebbed each feature of life; dabbing each pebble, particle, and atom with its own beauty. Even in this broken wasteland, everything was beautiful. “I am not ill, not physically anyway. D’erisa, am I wrong? What if… this doesn’t change anything but just causes more pain to me and others?” He tilted his head so that one eye could see the female. His mind was a labyrinth of many twisted thoughts about happiness and horror. His life used to be amusing, didn’t it? ‘Why is it me, lord? Why do I have to suffer every day of my life? I deserve peace… No – no I don’t! I’m bullied by idiots, and I bully everyone else. It’s a vicious cycle… isn’t it? Right – yes – yes! That explains it!’
Her caress disturbed him; her touched caused a reaction in his brain. He winced. His gaze shifted to the ground again. “Thank you for listening to my mindless chatter. I shall mind my words next time.” He again, tried to laugh. His smile was crooked, fatigue eating away at the last bits of energy. ‘I need more time…’
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Erisa
Fiesty Pup
Posts: 10
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Remorse
Mar 27, 2008 18:39:38 GMT -5
Post by Erisa on Mar 27, 2008 18:39:38 GMT -5
The words he released angered her abit. She hated him talking so bad about himself. Honeslty she thought of him as a wonderful creature..even though he hurt many. Erisa silently waited for him to finish before she spoke. "Rayton...don't speak that way. You might have caused pain to others and to yourself...but you can change that..if you try. Others will forgive you if you try to make things right. You will not cause more pain by fixing everything that has gone horribly wrong...it will bring a brighter light to your mind..make things better." Her voice still held the calm tone as she spoke, eyes never leaving his form. She felt bad for him..and wished the best for the brute. She indeed hated seeing him in this state...talking nonsense...Erisa notices the flinch he made after showing him abit of affection. She wouldn't blame him though...after everything he has experiances in life. Though that wouldn't stop her from showing that some cared for him. The ebony bitch would move abit closer to him, her movments abit hesitant. She felt bad because she couldn't give him more moving words..She wasn't much of a social type...but she tried her best anyways. "And I don't mind sitting here. No matter what you have to say I will listen. There is no need to keep from saying what you feel..exspecially around me." She spoke the truth..always eager to listen..yet never speaking much. She continues to sit there, watching him as she waits for his response.
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Remorse
Mar 31, 2008 20:55:14 GMT -5
Post by Cetanwakuwa on Mar 31, 2008 20:55:14 GMT -5
{lol I'd post to this, but it seems kinda private and uhh...intense xD}
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Remorse
Mar 31, 2008 21:48:22 GMT -5
Post by Cetanwakuwa on Mar 31, 2008 21:48:22 GMT -5
{Replying at Ray's request}
Cetanwakuwa stalked silently through the tall grasses of the woodlands which were now scorched with the hot sun of summer. She moved like a shadow, tail held high, subconciously, like a flag so all those around her would know who she was. She was completely aware of her environment and everything around her. There were a number of animals nearby. Whether they knew she was here, she couldn't tell. Perhaps they knew she wouldn't attack. She was not out for food today. Up ahead she heard voices long before she emerged from the brittle grasses to find Rayton and Erisa, two packmembers chatting away.
She gave an almost inperceivable nod, acknowledging both of them, before settling on her haunches on the ground. Lately things with North Star had been calm. She was glad of the calm, but found herself leaving the den on rare occasions to look for entertainment more than food, or anything that was actually necessary. Her attention span drifted, and she found herself distracted by a movement in the distance. It was just a bird taking flight. Her icy silver gaze shifted back to the two wolves before her, wondering what it was that they were chatting about so intently, and vaguely wondering if she weren't interrupting.
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Scatter
Daring Hunter
/Prisonfight/Imperial of Valence
Posts: 45
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Remorse
Mar 31, 2008 22:09:31 GMT -5
Post by Scatter on Mar 31, 2008 22:09:31 GMT -5
He took little notice of Cetan, his mind completely set on Dee. He was vague, distant, and was often found distracted. "Sorry milady. I shan't do it again if you wish of it not." Jaws locked as he sat frowning.
'Gray; such an oddity. I didn't think it would be the thing I would hear. That it would be the feeling I felt. Gray is the rain. Gray is the sky. Gray is nothing, and is is everything. It is the feeling that tells me I was wrong, and it is the feeling that tells me I was right. I didn't think everything would come down to gray. Emotion and expression; red and blue; savagery and calmness; war and peace. Gray is everywhere at every time. To escape it is impossible.... To live it is everything.' He soon found himself mumbling those last words; "To live it is everything. To live it is everything. To live it is everything." Over, over, over, and over again.
He saw things; dark shadows looming, reaching for him. He saw his mother, and he saw his father. Rayton couldn't keep his eyes off until they vanished; the apparitions left him all alone with Dee. In the very split second that they did, in peripheral vision he spotted Cetan. "Hello, milady." He replied dutifully. He didn't doubt the possibility of a tumultuous reply from the female; she was well know for it.
Neuron sensory system had gone crazy; it was as if he was always stoned, always high. His head was hung. "Pardon my cracked and injured voice, if I may plead." He added, rubbing the end of his nose with his gritty pad. Each claw arched perfectly as they should, but had specially enlarged toe joints so that his claws could flex back and forth during any movement. Quite a beast; years of evolution perfected his line down to this, the last of his lineage(aside from his father whose whereabouts remain unknown.)
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Remorse
Apr 1, 2008 11:29:53 GMT -5
Post by Cetanwakuwa on Apr 1, 2008 11:29:53 GMT -5
Cetan had been staring at Rayton for a good minute or so. It was in this moment that she came to realize some astouding difference with the brute. What on earth was up with him? He appeared to be in an incredibly deep thought. He began mumbling under his breath, something about living being everything. What the hell was going on with him?
Suddenly, it was as if he were shocked from some sort of trance. He glanced at her, appearing to just notice her presence. What did he say? Did he just call her a lady? Sure, Cetan was a girl, but hardly a 'lady'.
She snorted at Ratyon, and would of course, without fail give the smart ass reply that everyone who spoke with her had come to expect. It was part of what made Cetan, Cetan. "What the hell Ray. Are you stoned or something? You should really be careful about eating wierd herbs moron. This pack needs it's warriors to be able to function...." Cetan didn't know what was up with him, but surely he had eaten strange herbs. Possibly something from Zaeddyn's storage?
{Epic fail}
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Scatter
Daring Hunter
/Prisonfight/Imperial of Valence
Posts: 45
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Remorse
Apr 1, 2008 17:03:47 GMT -5
Post by Scatter on Apr 1, 2008 17:03:47 GMT -5
"Nothing out of the ordinary, Cetan." He replied raising a brow. There was no grin, and there was no frown. His mind was blank, as was his expression. Usually his sneer or smirk was painted against his ridiculously tumultuous-looking face. "Thank you, Cetan, for helping me that one time." His manners relied on a whole lot of will; yet the pressure upon his shoulders caused him to say it as loud and as clear as he could. 'What the hell? Dammit Cetan! I'm acting normal; I need help. His expression changed slightly, like he was acting a little more like Ray; yet again, his trance returned.
Cursed to be forever an apparition; a rift in time that was not sealed by what was foretold. His mind was wandering aimlessly, while the rest of his body was practically dead. If he was to find some way, to renew his spirits.... there was no way. He had come to conclusion he was not dying, at all; he just needed time. "I need your help." He randomly spat, one yellow eye glaring at Cetan. "There has to be something that can renew my now empty life. I've been thinking; even though my ideas are not sharp, and it may rupture what we have here, but I am mortally wounding what took generations to revolutionize; my lineage, down to me. I... need food, please.... Cetan.." Vocal cords were strummed, shifting into a wave of sound that could be called pleading. '....Please....'
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Remorse
Apr 1, 2008 17:56:50 GMT -5
Post by Cetanwakuwa on Apr 1, 2008 17:56:50 GMT -5
Cetan simply glared at him. She wasn't very good and handling crazy people(wolves). She practically scowled at his appriciation. What was he talking about? That time she helped him after he fought Saint? Of course she helped him. She was angry.
Rayton seemed to change suddenly. Again. "Food....?" She couldn't understand why his tone was so discustingly polite, nor why he suddenly needed food so badly. Aside from appearing drugged, he seemed alright....physically...Cetan wasn't good with crazies. She strode right up to him, raising a paw, she would strike him across the face. She wasn't by any means using all her strength. She simply hoped to get a normal Rayton reaction. This 'new' Rayton was sickening. "Snap our of it you b@stard!"
She didn't tense. This was a first. Cetan was always tense. Always ready for an attack. She waited, hoping that Rayton would attack her, if nothing else so she could reassure herself that he hadn't completely lost it. She was suddenly pissed. Her lip twitched slightly as if she might attack him. This needed to stop.
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